Listen, I just got another stimulation after the movie to embrace reality. I can say: OK, THAT DOES IT. NO MORE PHANTASY – WASTE OF TIME. NO MORE MANGA FOR EXAMPLE. I WILL seek enjoyment IN REALITY. Find some real hobbies, not cheat. It’s easy to enjoy yourself with phantasy creations. It’s something else to find the same joy in the very reality.

BUT. What if I just like it? What if it is my thing to dwell in ‘phantasy worlds’? What if it has some secret advantage after all. (For example increasing my imagination?) What about: don’t worry, just be yourself and do what you love? What about the fear that not doing what I like out of some RATIONAL reason, will decrease my acces to my own heart and withhold me more from discovering my own likes and tastes? GO AGAINST NATURE OR FOLLOW NATURE?

This is just some ‘problem’ that I am conscious of ‘lately’. So it’s an ‘actual’ problem, maybe it will disappear again. I have a hunch that the answer is just: whatever, follow your instinct, balance, sometimes do this, sometimes do that. But that’s not entirely satisfactory and powerful.


(Yes people, that is human reality. Every issue has multiple sides. All decisions have a but and  reason why it should not be taken. ALL CHOICES ARE IN TENSION. Give me one, I can tell you why you can doubt it. Sometimes I deliberate and find that it doesn’t matter, there are always  reasons against and reasons for a, and no side is often weightier. And than the conclusion is: just follow instinct/feeling, or something.



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